The other day I saw a cat with a swollen foot.
Me: So what’s up with Megapod today?
Mrs Iterate: She’s perfectly fine, but her foot is huge! Why is her foot big?
Me: Not sure yet, let me take a look.
MR (2 seconds later): What is it?
Me: Hang on, just give me a sec.
MR (1 seconds later): What is it?
Me: Well, there’s a scab.
MR: A scab?
Me: Yes, a scab.
MR: From what?
Me: Probably a cat bite, it’s hard to tell.
MR: A bite?
Me: Yes, a bite.
MR: Like from teeth?
Me: Yes, a bite from teeth.
MR: From a cat?
Me: Yes, probably a cat.
MR: Which cat?
Me: Ummm, I don’t know. Is there a cat in the area that she fights with?
MR: Fights with?
Me: Yes, fights. But it’s not necessarily a bite wound. Does she climb trees? Do the neighbors have dogs that might have chased her? Does she go on the street? Did she go missing at all?
MR: What are you asking?
Me: I’m just trying to figure out whether she might have other problems that I can’t see, that we might have to do x-rays to find, for instance. Like if she’s been hit by a car.
MR: X-rays? Like for bones? (Seeing me move from the foot to the rest of the cat) Why are you doing that?
Me: Just feeling the rest of her to see if I can find any other injuries.
MR: Like what?
Me: Yes, bites. Or scratches.
Me: Yes, bites, scratches, wounds…
Me: Yes, injuries like bites, scratches, wounds, abrasions, lacerations, tears, punctures, erosions, scrapes, fractures, dislocations, swellings, pretty much anything.
Me: There’s a laceration on her thigh and she’s tender around her right knee. Did you hear any sounds of fighting yesterday or last night, or anything that might tell us what happened to her?
MR: No, nothing. Yesterday was a perfectly normal day. There’s a laceration?
MR: And a swelling?
MR: I bet that happened when she fell off the roof.