Real life phone call today, from a lady about her dog:

Mrs Nomeds: He’s licking his leg, but I don’t want to put anything on it that’s not natural.
Receptionist: Well, he’s licking there for a reason. Probably best to have it seen.
Mrs Nomeds: But then the doctor is going to want to give him something for it. I don’t want that.
Receptionist: If I’m hearing you right, you might want him seen but you wouldn’t want Dr  Claws to actually prescribe anything to help it.
Mrs Nomeds: Right. Unless it’s natural. Right now I’m using tea tree oil.
Receptionist: Is he licking the tea tree oil off?
Mrs Nomeds: Yes, he’s still licking but it’s fine. Tea tree is natural.
Receptionist: You know tea tree oil is toxic when ingested, right?
Mrs Nomeds: But it’s natural!

Important information

The other day I saw a cat with a swollen foot.

Me: So what’s up with Megapod today?
Mrs Iterate: She’s perfectly fine, but her foot is huge! Why is her foot big?
Me: Not sure yet, let me take a look.
MR (2 seconds later): What is it?
Me: Hang on, just give me a sec.
MR (1 seconds later): What is it?
Me: Well, there’s a scab.
MR: A scab?
Me: Yes, a scab.
MR: From what?
Me: Probably a cat bite, it’s hard to tell.
MR: A bite? Continue reading

Home security

My cat is standing at the top of the stairs loudly announcing that he has killed his stuffed squirrel. Said squirrel is crammed in his mouth, muffling his bellowed roars. After several minutes of yelling he leaves his dead toys at the front door, as fair warning to any strangers who might sneak in. “You shall not pass! A mighty hunter lives here!”

I feel so safe.